Building community in a changing world

Monthly Archives: October 2020

October 28, 2020

Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin

You hear that nugget a lot – that you should be “comfortable in your own skin.” But what does that mean? We all have our doubts about ourselves, some more than others. I think it’s about finding our “truth.” Who we really are? Lifting the veil. Lowering the line. This is a big part of what “mindfulness” is all about.

Towards that end, I learned a lot from this Jonathan Foust podcast about “When to Step Up and When to Step Back.” Lot of great lines in there. The truth is like the sun. The truth will set you free. The truth might be like lighting a match that sets your world on fire.

At the 26:30 mark, Jonathan describes our path as something that “we can’t not do.” That we can’t not do. It’s really worth taking a moment to listen to Jonathan, as he always explains these things so beautifully…

October 21, 2020

I want to know it’s safe to be a child again.

The lyrics from this song really stuck in my craw this week – so I spent some time noodling upon what it means. My gut instinct told me that it was probably some idealized version of what childhood is like. So my noodling consisted of tapping into that sense of idolized childhood. Not having to worry about shelter, food. Not reading the newspaper. Yes, that’s something I can get on board with!

For me, the “adult” version of that might be is the non-judgmental listening practice that I share with my mindfulness friends. Being there to simply listen – no matter what the other person says – not offering any advice (even subtly) unless expressly asked to do so. That is a safe environment in which one can share literally anything. Which is a great release – the ability to unburden oneself by just naming it. Which in my experience goes a long way towards producing a desired shift in direction…

October 14, 2020

A “Gratitude” Journal

As our “Year of Living Mindfully” program came to a close this past weekend – in a sweet-connected & compassionate virtual lovefest – we were reminded by our teacher, Jonathan Foust, about the power of a gratitude journal. I’ve already blogged about the power of gratitude as a way to help change your way of thinking, your attitude. By focusing on neural pathways that give you pleasure rather than reinforce those that bring you pain & anxiety, you can retrain yourself physiologically.

There’s a lot of resources about the science of all this – and I’m sure I’ll get around to blogging about the books that bear this out because when you read them, they read true – but for now, I’ll just highlight the simple suggestion that you keep a “gratitude” journal if you’re looking to feel better about things. All you do is write something each day that you feel grateful for. If you’re really down and struggling to come up with something, Jonathan recommended that you just list parts of your body that don’t hurt (eg. a finger, a toe) – so that you start somewhere…

October 6, 2020

“Every Time I Pass, Every Time I Think of You, I Love You”

I was fortunate to attend my baby sister’s wedding this weekend – a small intimate affair – and it was so wonderful to participate in a joyous occasion. My new brother-in-law is fabulous – and the vows that were exchanged were truly special. One line from my brother-in-law really grabbed my attention: “every time I pass, every time I think of you, I love you.” Wow, man, wow!

I’m so lucky to be married myself to such a special person. I’m in love with her each & every day. Writing those words is such an easy thing to do. But how am I capable of so much love? A good question.

And from what I’ve learned, it starts with loving yourself first. I spent some time with my mindfulness group a few days ago – and wound up uttering “I love myself, and I always have” to the group. It was such an odd thing to say, I know, but it felt profound to share it, to fully realize it. It’s at my core. Something that I don’t think can be taken away from me. Reflecting on that makes that love grow only stronger – for myself, for my loved ones, for the world, for anyone I’ve ever known…