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Continuing on with my lessons learned from Roshi Joan Halifax’s “Being with Dying, I learned that grief is natural and that the experience of grieving can open up compassion in our lives. That grief is so connected to our body. So much like fear.

Fear and suffering can’t be transformed by someone else telling us how to do it. Others might be able to help us, but only those going through grief can pull ourselves all the way through to the other side. So even though accepting impermanence may seem like the Buddhist way to handle grief, it may well be best to scour the heart with honest sorrow instead.

Not getting thrown aside by shame but instead staying present with sadness is one way to give no fear to grief. And eventually heading towards a place where personal loss might be transformed into tenderness towards everyone who has ever suffered.