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May 18, 2020

Finding the Opposites of Our Thoughts

There are so many good methods out there to help keep us off the ledge. One method is called “The Work,” created by Byron Katie. As illustrated on her website, the Work involves four steps:

Notice – To begin, relax and be still. Travel in your mind to a specific situation where you were angry, hurt, sad, or disappointed with someone. Witness the situation. Be there now. Notice, name, and feel the emotion you were experiencing at the time. Find the reason you were upset.

Write – Staying anchored in the situation, at a specific moment in time, write down your responses to the questions on the Worksheet, using short, simple sentences. Write without censoring yourself. Allow yourself to be as judgmental, childish, and petty as you were in that moment. This is an opportunity to discover the cause of your stress and emotions in that moment.

Question – To begin, isolate a statement for inquiry. Now apply the four questions. Begin by repeating the original statement, then ask yourself each question. This Work is a meditation practice. It’s like diving into yourself. Contemplate the questions, one at a time. Drop into the depths of yourself, listen, and wait. The answer will meet your question.

Turn It Around – To do the turnarounds, find opposites of the original statement on your Worksheet. Often a statement can be turned around to the self, to the other, and to the opposite. Not every statement has as many as three turnarounds. Some may have just one or two, and others may have more than three. Some turnarounds may not make any sense to you. Don’t force these.

This last step is the “money” step. It’s so powerful to turn the thought around and wonder “Is the opposite as true as – or truer than – the original thought?” I surprise myself every time I try this because I rarely let my mind go in that direction. To consider the 180-degree view…